A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed

Friendship: The state of being a friend.

And what exactly does that mean?

To you or to the local shopkeeper or to his neighbor, a friend could mean many things. It could be someone with a friendly smile. It could be the town barber, keeper of all secrets. It could be a parent or a sibling. It could be the kindly stranger who helped with your grocery bags. It could be someone you have shared secrets and intimate moments with. Or like me, it could be someone you have hated and fought with for as long as you can remember until the day you didn't.

Many of my friendships have formed from dislike and hate. In high school there was a boy that I wished would accidentally fall off a tall building. Not a kind word was shared between us. Insults would fly, its sharp tongues tipped with poison. I cannot remember how this feud began. Neither can I remember how it ended. All I know is that now, 15 years later, we have a fantastic friendship.

Likewise, one of my closest friends to date, decided she hated me from 'Hello'. I needed a dictionary to translate the many swear words she threw at me, mostly in Mandarin. A language she was fluent in and I was not. But as quickly as it began, it ended. Resulting in one of my most treasured friendships.

Television and films lie to you. They portray a dramatized version of reality. A false portrayal of  'a happily ever after'. Because the truth is, as much as we would like to believe the beautiful stories painted for us, friendship is hard work. And trying to keep a good one alive to the end, is even harder.

A friendship is simply another kind of relationship. Two parties bound together emotionally only without the legal red tape. Both sides need to work equally hard, breathing life to keep it alive and strong. Lose one lung, the end draws near.

So how exactly do you define a good friendship and what is involved in keeping it alive?

There are hundreds of reasons but for me, this is what I believe is crucial to achieving a true friendship. And this is the kind of friend I aspire to be.

1. The one person you yearn to call when troubles get you down. No matter has minuscule the problem, you are never judged, not even for a moment.
2. Never being calculative with money. Especially if you know your friend is a little empty in pocket, picking up the tab is an unspoken gesture because you know the favor will be returned when able.
3. Being able to speak your mind when you feel your friend is about to embark on a potentially disastrous personal journey, whether it be with a new dress or new boyfriend, etc. Whether your advice and opinion is heeded or not, it should at least be taken into consideration and understood that you only mean well.
4. When it all falls apart, (re. No.3) never say 'I told you so'. Just be there.
5. Being able to talk about your childhood. Knowing that even if it were some thing that may have seemed silly but meant a lot as a kid, it will never be ridiculed and used as party joke ammunition.
6. Don't flaunt your current partner in front your friend especially if he/she has been single for a while and is feeling particularly lonely.
7. If a friend needs a shoulder to cry on, make arrangements to meet up or make time for a phone call. I once needed my best friends advice and she was out with her boyfriend. Not wanting to leave him and come to me, she brought him along. Sometimes, you might appreciate an extra pair of ears. But not always.
8. Conflict is a part of friendship. Always try to solve the problems when they are small. Its easier to put out a small fire then a big one. If you feel the friendship is worth it, be the bigger man and step up to resolve the issue.
9. Being proud of your friends successes. Also being able to admit your envy at times.
10. Knowing when a personal joke crosses the line into dangerous territory. Be sensitive and listen when a friend makes a quiet plea for you to stop.

You may not always know the right words to say and more often then not well intended words could result in friendship suicide. Like any other relationship, communication is the key. No one is a mind reader. I was once told that if you can count the amount of true friends you have in one hand, you are a very lucky person. In my teens and twenties, I had more friends then fingers and toes. Now due my method of sieving the friend pool, I am down to one hand. And I can honestly say, I have no regrets. Once you have made the decision to be friends, accept each other, for better or for worse. You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends. Choose wisely, and to quote The Rembrandts, I'll be there for you 'Cuz you're there for me too... . Expect as much from a friend as you are willing to give. That is all you need to be a true friend till the end.

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
-Albert Camus-

Book Review: The Caretaker by Thomas William Simpson

This book is not new. In fact it was published in 1998. I am sure it has received many reviews over the years but this is my take on it.

Synopsis:

Gunn Henderson, a hot headed but ultra charming salesman, and his wife Samantha receive a too good to be true job offer with Creative Marketing Enterprises in Long Island. Package includes a fully staffed beachside estate, a 250K salary, private school for the kids, an exclusive country club membership, a chauffeur driven limo and more.

There they meet Brady, the caretaker, who has a curious effect on lonely Samantha. Brady seems perfect. Hardworking, polite and helpful. The perfect gentleman and handsome to boot.

Things start off wonderfully. There is money, security and the promise of a bright future for the Henderson family. But like a slow uncoiling snake, wisps of trouble arise.

Gunn is away working for weeks at a time leaving Samantha alone and frustrated. When he is home, he is angry and irritable. Sam starts suspecting Gunn is having an affair with his incredibly beautiful assistant.

Curiously, Brady seems to know the perfect thing to do or say when Sam is feeling particularly vulnerable. Its almost like he is watching her, manipulating her every action. Seemingly, his plan works and she falls heart first into his arms.

Large cracks start breaking the Henderson foundation, oozing with lies and deceit.

Slowly, like a well choreographed dance, Gunn's life starts falling apart.

His assistant, Nita, leaves him. He starts drinking heavily and his sales start to suffer. His employer threatens to fire him, withholding all promised payments.

Sam starts to discover some irregularities in Brady's prefect facade. Lost in his charm, she tries to ignore the tell tale signs. But soon she is unable to push away the unexplainable coincidences threatening her family.

Is Brady to blame? Is he behind the well crafted plan to destroy the Henderson family? What is his motive?

This book promises suspense and surprise. A confirmed page turner. The right combination of drama, sex and intrigue with a dash of ironic humor. I have read this book many times over but every time it is like a new read. Every word has relevance to the story. There are no useless subplots that leave you wondering where they fit in. The writer explains the story with precision. Concise sentence structure will keep you turning the pages. Every chapter has a twist yet the ending leaves you satisfied.

This book is for mature audiences. I recommend for ages 15 and up.

Buy it or rent it, it doesn't matter. Just read it.

I give this book 5 stars.

Title: The Caretaker

Author: Thomas William Simpson

Publisher: Bantam Books 1998

Resolutions or Resolu-nots?

Happy 2014!

It is a new year. Time for some brand spanking new NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS!! Or at least recycling some old ones. Or in my case, making a resolu-not list.

What is that you ask?

Well, like at least half the planet, well intended souls everywhere have made a list and are determined to see it through. Scouring the Internet, I have found some examples of these hopeful wishlists.

1.Lose Weight

2.Volunteer to Help Others

3.Quit Smoking

4.Get a Better Education

5.Get a Better Job

6.Get Fit

7.Eat Healthy Food

8.Manage Stress

9.Take a Trip

10.Save Money

11.Manage Debt

12.Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle

13.Drink Less Alcohol

14.Learn Something New

15.Enjoy Life More

It is now almost a month into the new year and I am willing to bet not even 10% have put no.1 into action. Call me cynical but I too was once a hopeful young thing confident that I was going to turn my resolutions into a reality. But the harsh truth is that however organized we are or how determined we aim to be, life gets in the way. I think the best new year resolution should have only one thing on the list. Which brings us to my resolu-not:

1.      Do not have a new years resolution

That's it.

Human nature defies against rules and regulations. Even though we are governed by them everyday and I think we actually need some of them to stay sane, it is nicer to believe we are free spirits. Free to live as we like and nobody can tell us otherwise!

However, if you must have a list, tell yourself you are doing the things on that list because you want to and not because you are forcing yourself to. Also, make it realistic. If you are not financially able, don't plan a trip that's going to land you in debt. If that's the case, no.10 (Save Money) and no.11 (Manage Debt) should not even be on your list!

As for no.2, no need to volunteer in a big way. Loaning a fellow student your extra pencil, helping someone with their groceries or buying a cup of coffee for the homeless man down the street. All these simple gestures will earn you brownie points and you can definitely scratch at least one thing off your list. But don't stop being nice. Let it become a part of you and you will be one step closer to making the world a better place. I believe this will give no.15 (Enjoy Life More) a head-start. This goes for no.12 as well. Don't make recycling a resolution. Make it a daily practice!

For the sake of your own health and well being, quitting nicotine and alcohol is something worth looking into. But do it wisely because if you are anything like me, the day I tell myself I am going to stop drinking is the day I get drunk.

So like Santa, make your list and check it twice. Make some resolutions that you know you can achieve. Looking at your unfulfilled 2014 list in 2015 is only going to make you sad.

I leave you with some simple suggestions that I am going to try as well. Good luck to you and to me too...

1.      Stop being so cynical

2.      Greet your colleagues with a smiley “Good Morning” everyday.

3.      Find at least one thing to laugh about everyday

4.      Give yourself one special inexpensive treat a week.

5.      Do a good deed everyday, big or small.

6.      Stop pressing the snooze button

7.      Don't make promises you can't keep

8.      Be more on time to everything

9.      Always say please and thank you

10.  Stop restricting yourself. If you enjoy doing something, just do it. If it's bad for you, do less of it. If it's good for you, do more of it.

 “I will bestir myself,' was her resolution, 'and try to be wise if I cannot be good.”

―Charlotte Brontë

The Taming of the Coup

This is Sir Prickles Erizzo Roly-Poly Scratcher the III. He is a male albino hedgehog roughly 6 months old.

Rizo and I met in August 2013. And it was not love at first sight. The night I collected him from his breeder, he had just experienced a 2 hour car ride coming from a farm in another state. In the 5 minutes that the breeder and I were conducting the final transaction, Rizo was an angel. Even after such a strenuous journey, there was not a single raised spike to be seen. As I walked away, cooing gently to this odd little creature that was to become a new member of my family, I thought to myself how lucky I was to have obtained such a pleasant, good natured hedgehog.

I was wrong.

From the very moment I set foot in my home and attempted to pick him up to place him in his posh new quarters, a war had been declared. The first week was filled with tears, blood and a whole lot of hissing. I ravaged the internet, trying desperately to find a solution to my prickly problem. Hunting high and low, scouring blogs and forums, searching for answers. All I found were hedgehog owners shouting praises of their adorable pets. Or manuals with no information other than ‘leave it alone. It will eventually come around’. Or behavioral tests that he failed miserably. I was constantly on the phone with the breeder, begging him to help me. Fraught enough to request a different hedgehog. Or even a different animal. How cruel you must think me. But this situation was not improving. It was getting worse every day. When the breeder assured me that Rizo was the best natured of his litter, I was so sure it was my fault. Absolutely certain I must be such a terrible person for this little animal to hate me so. I was convinced he could sense my frustration and in return had decided I deserved no love from him. I was at my wit’s end.

And then one day I decided enough was enough. This walking cactus and I needed to find peace to co-exist and I was done letting him ruin my life. I was so sure that this cantankerous act was all on the outside and he was caring and amorous in the inside. Even though a friend who was a veterinarian was very sure his attitude was caused by the fact that he was meant to live in the wild, I refused to surrender. And so began our journey to find harmony. This is how it happened.

Using several pairs of gloves and the thickest towel I could find, I gingerly picked him up and placed him on a chair. His immediate reaction was to ball up and hiss loudly. I patiently waited for him to calm down and come out. 5 minutes later saw a small pink nose slowly sniffing his surroundings. Deciding I wasn’t about to turn him into soup, the rest of him gradually unfolded. There he was, all 5 inches of him staring me in the face. That was the first time I had seen him properly in the light of day. As his red eyes glinted evilly in the evening sun, I refused to lose my cool and proceeded with my plan. With great care and heavy duty protection I gently lifted him and informed him that he was to be subjected to daily doses of affection whether he liked it or not. I addressed his bad behavior and the grief he had caused me in the past weeks. I told him that he had better start appreciating my efforts or the dog was getting hedgehog steak that night. On and on I lectured him, stopping only for breaths and an occasional hiss, which he was made aware that I could produce as well.

And that was what I did. Every evening after he had awoken, we would have a little tête–à–tête. I would talk about my day and he would hiss at me about his, occasionally spiking to make a point. But the situation improved in leaps and bounds. Within a couple of weeks I had learnt to pick him up with my bare hands without getting stabbed.
But not everything is hunky dory. There are days I am too tired to play with him and that results in a relapse. Our struggle continues and our ride off into the sunset seems further some days than others. But I refuse to accept defeat. I will make the grumpy little scrubbing brush love me, one cranky day at a time.
I leave you now with a photo of Rizo vs. The Toilet Roll. But that’s a story for another day…

Kalamazoo Cafe - Aman Suria

The Circumstances

I found this place by pure coincidence a few weeks ago. I was in the Aman Suria area around lunchtime with my mom and decided on this place by chance. We were walking past and decided to check out the menu of this quaint little cafe.

We were approached by Evan, one of the employees, who offered to give us a quick run through of the menu and specialty dishes. A really friendly guy, he quickly charmed my mom and without further ado, we headed inside.

The Atmosphere

First impressions last. While the decor in Kalamazoo wasn't anything special, it had a nice, comfortable air to it. Quirky yet modern, brightly lit and mildly kitschy, it's a place suitable for anything from business lunches to groups of friends hanging out or families having a meal.

That's Evan standing at the counter. And does that other guy remind you of a walrus?  :P

Taken from my seat. Not the best pic I'll admit, but I'm shy when it comes to taking photos. >.<"

The Food

The cuisine served at Kalamazoo is purely American, with an slight emphasis on pork. With plenty of appetizers, salads, burgers, ribs and other mains, you are spoilt for choice. Aside from their regular menu, they also have special brunch and lunch menus. 

I ordered their one of their lunch set options, the Pork Chops with Pineapple Chutney, which the main menu stated was one of their specialties. They also have a Tex-Mex (barbecue) flavored version. I have to say, it was delicious. The sauce was sweet and savory with a distinct taste of pineapple.

Portion size was larger than I expected, to be honest, with 5 thick chops, a scoop of crisp and fresh coleslaw slathered in mayo (not the withered, bitter tasting kfc type), and a dollop of fabulously buttery, homemade mashed potatoes which had a wonderful texture to it without being lumpy. However, sauce and sides aside, the texture of the pork chops themselves was rather lacking and ranged from dry and overcooked, to something resembling shoe leather. Still edible though except for the leathery one which I couldn't finish.  

4 out of 5 stars. Could've been better if not for the . 

The lunch set also came with a cup of mushroom soup, but I found this to be disappointing, though still edible (I admit, I was starving!). It was a little on the watery side, with a sourish undertone and small chunks of onions and button mushrooms floating in it.

1 out of 5. Couldn't give this any more.

My mom, aiming for a healthier meal, ordered the Orange Chicken Salad off the main menu. Now this was very, very good. A brilliant combination of flavors, this salad was well executed and was filling and refreshing. The roast chicken strips were wonderfully tender, and their smoky flavor was enhanced by the tanginess of the salad dressing and the orange slices. Presentation was also excellent, with an eye pleasing combination of colors and a fairly generous portion size.

5 out of 5. A must try.

The Service

The service we received was nothing short of excellent. Our personal waiter, Evan, was friendly, attentive, professional, knowledgeable, efficient, and was was generally everything you would want from a waitstaff. The food came quickly, and so did the bill when we asked for it. I found it faultless.

The Price

Prices were generally reasonable at Kalamazoo. Expect to spend about RM 15 to RM 25 for a lunch set and RM 20 to RM 35 for an entrée. Soups cost between RM 5 to RM 8, and salads range between RM 9 for a House Salad to RM 15 for the Orange Chicken Salad. And while I forgot to make a note of the drink prices, I do know that water costs RM 0.50 a cup though.

The Result

Though not show-stoppingly brilliant, I did have a fairly enjoyable meal. I would definitely go back to sample more of their food, especially their salads!

The Place

Kalamazoo Restaurant & Cafe

Address: A A-G-36, Jalan PJU 1/43, Aman Suria Damansara, 47301 P.J., Selangor

Tel: 03-7805 1436

Web: http://www.kalamazoocafe.com.my/index.html

Opening hours: 11am to 10pm daily (Closed on Tuesdays)

Parking availability: Ample.

Why The World Needs Tact

As a single 30 something Asian girl still living at home with a parent, society can be brutal. Unlike the western culture, Asian women don't necessarily leave the nest until marriage. But marriage comes at a very early age. Even till today in some parts of India, girls are being married off the moment puberty hits. Sometimes even before.

But here I am, in fast moving Kuala Lumpur. A city of different religions, different cultures, different mindsets. My mother married at 23 purely because her father told her to. My sister married at 21 for her own reasons. And then there's me. 30 something and unwed. Horrifying and disgraceful. It is outrageous enough to be questioned by my regular petrol station attendant who just cannot fathom why I am still single.

For years my hair was progressively getting blonder. My relatives, not knowing how to respond starting cracking awkward humorless jokes. No matter how educated or successful you are, mental forwardness is a slow process which I feel advances from each new generation. But there is the odd case here and there. Recently my mother, either getting incredibly open minded in her old age or losing all hope in me, surprised me with this astonishing piece of news.

“If you don't want to get married and but prefer to just live with a guy, its okay with me”, she said.

This was followed, of course, by the small clause of including her in the living arrangements.

Then of course there is the weight issue. Having been cursed by the low metabolism gene, maintaining a socially accepted number on the weighing scale has been a tough and mostly losing battle. People with manners would usually say nothing about your recent weight gain. Instead they might comment positively when you have actually lost some or maybe compliment your attire or new hairstyle.

Then there are the tactless ones. Have you ever heard the popular “You are looking very healthy.” or just downright “Wow! You have put on a lot of weight!” I have a mirror. I know what I look like. Thank you Captain Obvious. Have you ever considered that perhaps I may have a medical condition? Or a mental condition? Or any of the hundreds of other reasons why I look the way I do.

Perhaps the wisest though not necessarily the most polite reply would be “I can lose weight. You will still be ugly!”

Career.

Listing the remarks I have gotten about this subject could fill a book. I work in post production. This is a specialized field that sounds glamorous but is terribly difficult to explain clearly. I find when people don't understand something and if they are not the kind to research the subject, they are unable to take it seriously. This applies to my relatives and many people around me. My career is a joke simply because there is a lack of understanding. Yes the hours are long and the pay isn't great but it’s a job that provides some amount of satisfaction. But in the eyes of society, I have failed. I am neither a lawyer, nor a doctor nor the right kind of engineer.

Have you ever experienced this scenario?

You are having a meal in a restaurant. A group of older ladies walk by you, stop right at your table and start discussing, very loudly I might add, the plate of food you are in the process of consuming.

If you are so curious about my meal, why not ask me directly or discreetly question your waiter after you have been seated.

I am convinced that the older generations feel they have a right to speak their immediate thought no matter how rude it may be. Is it because they have lived longer and have experienced more than us chickens? Or maybe we all fall into this false fantasy as we age, thinking ourselves wiser then a younger mind. But no matter how old you may be or whether you are a friend, parent, sibling, aunt, uncle or cousin, rudeness is not tolerated. As society grows and changes direction, so will taboos. What was acceptable to critique then may not be now and may never be in the future. We will never be able to keep up with what is ‘politically correct’ and what is not. It is not the freedom of speech that is jeopardized. It’s a simple life lesson on how to keep the peace and live harmoniously with each other. My opinion, many conflicts, no matter how small, could have been avoided with a little tact.

I am who I choose to be. The way I look or my choice of career or my views on marriage. They might never appeal to all but it’s my life and I will live it my way. And only because I was brought up in a culture that teaches you to be polite to your elders, I will only smile and walk away.

Having good manners won’t kill you. And neither will a little tact...

About Food...And Reviewing It.

I'm a person who loves food. *Pats tummy* I used to be a person who ate anything and everything, and when asked for my feedback, I'd just say, "Oh, it's nice", without being able to differentiate whether or not it was just merely palatable, or something truly worthy of a connoisseur. I also used to chuck ketchup over a large portion of my food (Okay, I'm still occasionally guilty of that!). But if there's something I've learned from my string of ex's, its how to eat, and how to eat well. I'm not a stranger to food and restaurant reviews. I read them, and I even used to write them once upon a time ago. I want to do that again here on this blog, but this time, I want to do it properly.

My reviews used to be long essays with lots of stuff about what I was doing and who I was with. However, as I read more reviews by other bloggers, I noticed that if I was reading that review just to decide whether or not I wanted to eat at a certain restaurant, I didn't want to read about what the blogger was doing before they got to the place, or why they decided to go there, or who they were with, or what antics they got up to whilst in the restaurant. I just wanted the facts. Food. Service. Ambiance. Price. Location. I wanted information to help me decide where to eat right now, and I didn't want to have to wade through a whole load of unnecessary crap to get to that info. So I decided that my reviews will be segmented into categories, and so far, I've decided on the below:

1) The Circumstances - A short summary as to how I ended up at that place to begin with. Totally skippable if you're in a hurry.
2) The Atmosphere - Comfort/decor, cleanliness, noise level and target market segment (families, couples, office crowd, large groups).
3) The Food - Portion sizes, presentation, taste and freshness.
4) The Service - Staff knowledge, attentiveness, professionalism, friendliness, speed the food is served.
5) The Price - Price range and value for money.
6) The Place - Location, opening hours, type of cuisine, parking availability, contact details.
7) The Result - My overall dining experience, and whether or not I'll be back again.

While I'm no expert food critic, I'd like to present my personal opinion of these food establishments to the general public, whether it's to help these places get a bit of well deserved extra publicity, or just to help people decide on whether its worthwhile to spend their hard earned money on a place that may or may not be a waste of time. I might even throw in a scoring system to make it easier for some people to come to a conclusion. Heck, my review style might change as time goes by, nothing's set in stone yet.

But most importantly, while I might gush if the food or the service or the price is truly above par...you can be sure to expect to read my fully honest, straightforward opinion if its not.